If you're serious about saving your marriage, you MUST Check This Out!
It’s a proven fact that the more you try to get your ex-husband back, the more he will try to stay away from you. People who get kicked to the curb after a break up usually think that it was caused by not being good enough for their beau. This makes them feel that they need to do more in order to win back their ex’s love and affection. However, that is not necessarily the case. What your ex really wants is someone who can think for themselves and has a strong will to be the best they can be. They also want someone who will challenge them to be the best that they can be. The key word here is “challenge”.
Just like your ex enjoys the challenge of you playing hard to get, they want someone who can give them a run for their money. They want someone who can think for themselves and be independent. If there is only one person in the relationship that decides everything that goes on, there is no challenge within that union; the relationship is just one-sided and that is not exciting. Men are always looking for excitement and a challenge. They want to explore and experience other things outside of what they know. By getting to explore more than just wining and dining, both parties have elevated their relationship to another level.
Finding Out What Your Ex Wants
Find out what your ex really wants with regard to a relationship – ask him questions; you may be surprised at his answers. Don’t take him for granted and don’t assume that he is always looking for a romp in the sack. Once you know what he really wants, you can make plans to make some changes for the better.
Playing Hard To Get
Playing hard to get is a way of testing the other to see if they are really interested in you; it involves mystery and challenge. Be careful though, you don’t want to overdo it. It’s ok to be unavailable sometimes, but if you make it too difficult, he will just go on and pursue someone else.
When you play hard to get, you make yourself valuable to the person that is pursuing you. If you are always available for your ex, they will not perceive you as a challenge. To them, you are too easy, too needy and too clingy.
Be Different than Before
It seems that more men than women prefer a challenge. If a man feels that they can manipulate you into doing what they want, then they won’t want you. They don’t even want to go out on a date with you anymore. I am willing to bet that your ex boyfriend wooed you in the beginning. He tried everything to get your attention. Maybe he bought you flowers or chocolates, wrote letters or emails to you – in fact anything to make sure you knew he was interested in you. Men like a challenge; they love to compete.
This is clearly seen when they watch a football match or a baseball game – they cheer their team on, throw their arms in the air when their team wins – it is an achievement for them. They will do everything that they can to win their prize and the challenge of winning is what spurs a man on. It’s the same when a man sees a woman that he likes. He sees the lead up to winning her, his ‘prize’, as a challenge.
A big turnoff is if either one of you is controlling or demanding. This can push the other away as it portrays them as wanting to be in charge, no matter what. You have to be different for your boyfriend – he has to see things that he did not see the first time in your relationship, things that will make him tick and be interested. Don’t settle for being ordinary.
Maybe you can dress a little different however, do not dress provocatively. If for example you always wore sweats around your ex when you were together, maybe try wearing some nice dress slacks or a nice skirt suit. If you didn’t wear makeup before, buy some and apply it. Not only will it make you look a little different and show that you are taking more care of your appearance, it will also make you feel better. These are simple changes and your ex will immediately notice the difference.
You need to know what makes your ex tick. You may have failed to do that in the past, but with reconciliation, you have another chance. It can make all the difference in your renewed relationship with him.
Provide a Sense of Mystery
When you are playing hard to get with your ex, don’t be predictable. Think outside of the box and provide a sense of mystery and challenge for him. If you were passive in the previous relationship, show your ex that you are now a different person. You are no longer the “easy” and “willing” person you once were.
You have to make your ex see you as a worthy catch and for him to deem you as valuable. This also means no sleeping together on the first date or even for some time afterwards. Playing hard to get means that you need to leave such a lasting impression on him that he will not even think of dating anyone else but you. You must bear in mind however, that you can only be a challenge to him for so long. A more serious role on both sides will be taken on, once the relationship has been rekindled.
Tips for Playing Hard To Get
When you’re playing hard to get with your ex, the purpose is to see if they are really interested in getting back with you. You or your ex may feel that you were taken for granted before the break up and just because the thought of getting back together is there, that does not mean that you or your ex can play it safe – you don’t want any hurt feelings on either side. You cannot take for granted that your ex husband is going to automatically fall in love with you again.